You know how the old saying goes – ‘if a player likes something on Instagram then it’s a sure sign it’s happening’. And, folks, if we live by that rule of life then Dele Alli is certainly off to PSG this window given the fact he liked PSG’s unveiling of their new gaffer on the social media platform.

Yet, given that Alli’s form fell off a cliff towards the end of the Pochettino reign at Spurs before briefly reappearing for Mourinho, you’d imagine it unlikely that Poch would look at an attack-laden PSG squad and go, ‘you know what we are missing, Jesus? A lazy, modern 10 who gives the ball away far too easily. He’d be great for Neymar and Mbappe…’

Equally, for some bizarre reason, Tottenham don’t even want Alli out of the door in January – maybe he’s really upset Jose and the punishment is having to stick around and be considered a worse midfielder than Sissoko.

The ‘Live Frank Lampard Job Threat Status’ has been upgraded to Tier 4 which is, officially, ‘under serious threat’ which I’d imagine to be flashing in red if it was on a TV screen. Roman Abramovich isn’t the most patient of souls and Lamps has the worst points-per-game ratio of any manager under Rom ever. You’d be right to suspect that the powers-that-be at the Bridge are starting to see who fancies being the next Caretaker Manager, Chelsea.

Arsenal went shopping in St-Etienne a while ago and came back with William Saliba – one could only assume Wesley Fofana had a really, really bad day. Saliba, who surely can be no worse than Rob Holding, is not in Arteta’s trusted circle so could be sent back to France or maybe PSV if he is willing to take a paycut. Or, he could take a leaf out of Mesut’s book and up his Insta game whilst coining it in.

Arteta knows that he still needs to convince some other fools that David Luiz, Mustafi, Sokratis and Calum Chambers are viable options for teams looking to improve their defensive output. Good luck with that, Mikel.

Newcastle United fans will have entered the latest lockdown thinking, ‘I know what will get me through this – the club signing a creative midfielder to improve our style of play’ and what they are actually likely to get is Hamza Choudhury from Leicester on loan.

Staying with Leicester, Brendan wants to see if his signing of Fofana was just luck or whether he does actually have an eye for a young defender by making a move for Schalke’s highly-rated 20-year-old, Ozan Kabak. There’s just the small matter of competition from Liverpool, AC Milan, Tottenham, Man United and, er, Crystal Palace to contend with.

The new Brexit regulations are certainly hampering Premier League clubs and their targets – Big Sam is already lamenting the fact that three or four of his targets wouldn’t be allowed in the country which, I presume, his him making a u-turn on his thoughts around the whole thing.

Clubs are being forced to look at young English talent in the lower divisions leading both Aston Villa and Arsenal to duke it out over Norwich’s Emi Buendia (Argentina) and Palace and Leeds politely enquiring about QPR’s shot-stopper Seny Dieng (Switzerland).