Tottenham are in severe danger of winning something then, eh? Sure, it’s ‘only the league cup’ but they all count to a man who still includes the Community Shield in his trophy haul.

Sure, Jose will be lining up against either a resurgent Manchester United or a, er, resurgent Manchester City but you’d probably class Mourinho’s lot as slight favourites given how desperate he is to end the drought at the club.

Jose is likely to celebrate by pinging a message over to Real Madrid warning them he will be sending back Gareth Bale at the end of the season – the good news for Madrid is that he will be returned pretty much unused and in exactly the same condition as he was when he arrived, so nothing lost.

Jurgen Klopp has taken time out from screaming at his players and jabbing at United and their penalties to keep in contact with Kylian Mbappe, just in case the Frenchman decides that he doesn’t like the Poch way of doing things. Now, we all know ‘tapping-up’ goes on in football, of course we do – but this is Klopp being very open about it. Is that allowed? Probably not, but I guess we have bigger things to worry about currently.

Mesut Ozil might finally have something else to do other than update his Instagram feed. DC United of MLS are believed to be tabling a pretty convincing reason for the Arsenal man to head to the US of A. And in news that will delight young Emile Smith-Rowe, currently revelling in being a key reason why Arsenal are no longer utter tripe, Mikel Arteta would love to restart the wooing of Julian Brandt – a creative number 10. £22m is likely to be enough to persuade Borussia Dortmund to let him go.

Wolves think that Diego Costa is what they are missing right now and with the animalistic frontman having walked away from Atletico the other day he is as free as a bird. Rumour has it that Wolves have joined a very long list of people keen to take Christian Eriksen off Inter’s hands – and the Dane has already been offered to West Ham. The Hammers are the perfect destination for a player like Eriksen – keen to get away from Tottenham and get his big move to Italy, gets to Italy and is terrible – these players always end up at West Ham.

Peppy G is determined to sign at least one La Liga icon as soon as possible and if it cannot be Leo Messi then it will damn well be Sergio Ramos. Real Madrid’s skipper is yet to sign a new contract which has led to Man City getting all hot under the collar. Obviously, PSG are being linked too.

Man United, in a moment of rare transfer intelligence, have deduced that if Sporting have one Bruno Fernandes then there might be at least one more hiding down the back of the sofa. They’ve learned that Fernandes’ ex-teammate Pedro Goncalves is quite good too, so they’d may as well have him too. More likely is the young Ecuadorian midfielder Moises Caciedo who is a name that seems to be hanging around.

Slaven Bilic is back in management, taking over at Bejing in a move that one would assume him earn more money with less grief.